Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
