Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize