ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
