I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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