Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
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I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
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You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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