Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
