Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
