please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
