I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
