Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."