that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
