The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
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