How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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