To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
