Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
It's Friday. Sex?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
