weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
