I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
