people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
