eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
