Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Sorry my hands just texted you
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
