nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
