I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
