you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Who died my cat blue again?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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