I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
