The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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