...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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