i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
