just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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