**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
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