This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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