Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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