Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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