We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
