I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
now i know why i became what i already was.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
