great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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