Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize