So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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