Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
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He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize