So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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