I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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