Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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