D3 body, D1 cock
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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