Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
you never un-have a 4some
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
