i already hear my dad disowning me
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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