other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
