nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Randomize
