I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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