just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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