im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
