Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
