I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
