He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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