Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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