it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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