oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
