I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
