grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
