She's JV to your varsity
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
