Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
