Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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