even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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