Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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