Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Farmville is her only friend.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
