we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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