thus making me awesome and them whores
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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