he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
